Child abuse and neglect cross all socio-economic boundaries
by Kim Sharpe
All of these
features make the northern Front Range of Colorado a highly desirable place to
call “home.”
Magazines
from “Money” to “Backpacker” to “Business Week” have deemed our NoCo
communities the best places to live, best places to raise kids, best places to
raise outdoor kids, best places to raise a family and best places to retire.
When the
prevailing message is that we virtually live in utopia, it is hard to believe
we have ugly societal issues like other communities. In fact, some people would
rather turn a blind eye than directly look at the ugliness that comes with
issues such as poverty, alcoholism and child abuse. But we do our whole
community, our own families and ourselves a disservice if we do not admit to
and address these issues.
This
article, which focuses on child abuse and neglect, is intended to help bring
one of our community’s less desirable issues to light, raise awareness and
offer suggestions for ways you can help.
What is child
abuse and neglect?
Child abuse
can be physical, emotional or sexual. Child neglect can be physical, emotional,
educational or medical.
Simply put,
“child abuse is anything that causes physical, mental or sexual harm to a child
and child neglect is anything that deprives a child of the necessities to grow
into healthy adults,” explaines Laura Hunt, Larimer County Child Advocacy
Center executive director.
The
Colorado Revised Statutes offer the following definitions*:
Physical Abuse (C.R.S. 19-1-103)
Any case in
which a child exhibits evidence of skin bruising, bleeding, malnutrition,
failure to thrive, burns, fracture of any bone, subdural hematoma, soft tissue
swelling, or death.
Emotional Abuse (C.R.S. 19-1-103)
An
identifiable and substantial impairment of the child’s intellectual or
psychological functioning or development, OR
A
substantial risk of impairment of the child’s intellectual or psychological
functioning or development
An adult’s
words or actions lead to a child to be harmful to themselves or others
Any form of
terrorizing, isolating, exploiting or rejecting a child.
Sexual Abuse (C.R.S. 19-1-103)
Any case in
which a child is subjected to sexual assault or molestation, sexual
exploitation or prostitution
Child
sexual abuse occurs when a child is used for the sexual gratification of
another.
Physical Neglect (C.R.S. 19-1-103)
Any case in
which a child’s parents, legal guardians or custodian fails to take actions to
provide adequate food, clothing, shelter, medical care or supervision that a
prudent parent would take.
Educational Neglect
Involves
the failure of a parent or caretaker to enroll a child of mandatory school age
(ages 6 to 17 years) in school or provide appropriate home schooling, thus
allowing chronic truancy.
Emotional/Psychological Neglect
Involves
actions such as engaging in chronic or extreme spousal abuse in the child’s
presence, allowing a child to use drugs or alcohol, consistently belittling the
child, withholding affection, verbally assaulting the child and threatening the
child with extreme violence.
Medical Neglect
Involves
the failure to provide appropriate and necessary health care for a child
(although financially able to do so), thus placing the child at risk of being
seriously disabled or disfigured or dying.
How common is
it?
So how
prevalent is child abuse and neglect in northern
“Child
abuse and neglect happens more than one would think in this community,” adds
Denise Suniga, deputy division manager, Larimer County Department of Human
Services’ Children, Youth and Family Division (LCDHS).
In
In terms of
sexual abuse specifically, local data doesn’t exist, but nationally, one in
four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused by the age of 18 years, and
67 percent of all sex crimes are against children. Hunt says local rates tend
to follow national rates.
What are signs
of abuse?
Some signs
of abuse are very evident and others are not. And the presence of a single sign
does not prove child abuse is occurring.
Children
generally react to all traumatic situations similarly, says Chris
Sarlo-Bergmann, program administrator for A Kids Place in
“When signs
appear repeatedly or in combination, [however,] you should take a closer look
at the situation and consider the possibility of child abuse,” advises the
federal Child Welfare Information Gateway.
Professionals who work with children, such as heath-care providers,
teachers, police officers, counselors and child-care providers are required by
law to report any suspected child abuse. Private citizens are not required to
report suspected abuse, but “they have a moral and ethical obligation to do
so,” says Sarlo-Bergmann.
And they can do so anonymously.
Signs of
physical abuse may include bruises, broken bones, burn marks, black eyes. Signs
of sexual abuse may include inappropriate sexual contact with another child or
adult, and excessive touching of their genitals.
Jane
Bradley, executive director of ChildSafe, says “kids who are abused may be
labeled as having ADHD, or they may act out and have other behavior problems such
as extreme anger and hitting and kicking. Sometimes children will confide in
one another when they’re being abused, but often, abuse is very secretive in
families and kids know they shouldn’t talk about it.”
Children
who’ve been sexually abused may begin wetting their bed, not sleeping through
the night and have other unexplained, sudden changes in behavior. They also
don’t have the “innate personal space boundaries that other kids do,”
Sarlo-Bergmann explains. They may immediately hug someone they are meeting for
the first time or want to sit on their lap, and tend to be clingy.
What can you
do?
“Keep your
eyes on kids everywhere,” says Sarlo-Bergmann. “Look around you. Know your
neighbors. Know your child’s friends’ families. Offer help and respite care to
others who seem like they need a break. If you see a parent yelling at their
child in public, you can even approach them and ask if they need help.
Sometimes being asked is enough for them to realize that how they’re treating
their child is not appropriate.”
To protect
your own children, be involved with your kids. “Normal parents want to know
where their kids are and who they’re with,”
Sarlo-Bergmann states.
“Don’t put
your children in situations where they could be abused,” says Hunt. If they’re invited
to a new friend’s house, call the other parents and set up a time to meet them.
Ask questions to determine if the home is safe. Ask who will be in the home
when your child is there.”
Beginning
at a young age, “talk to your kids about their bodies and what appropriate
touch is,” Hunt recommends. “It’s much easier to talk with your teenagers about
sexual issues if you start talking about those issues when they’re young.”
To help
parents talk with their young children (7 years and under) about appropriate
and inappropriate touch, Hunt recommends a book by Jon Holsten, veteran police
sergeant with the Fort Collins Police Department, called The Swimsuit Lesson (www.swimsuitlesson.com).
She also
recommends parents take the research-based class offered through the LCCAC
called Stewards of Children: Adult Based Child Sexual Abuse Prevention
Training. The two and one-half hour course teaches parents seven steps to
protecting their children and other children in their lives. It costs $15,
which covers the expense of training materials. “For every adult trained, 10
children in our community are better protected,” says Hunt. (Visit www.larimercac.org or call 970-407-9739
for more information.)
Sarlo-Bergmann
points out that we all end up living with the results of children who are not
raised well. Children who suffer abuse and neglect often grow up to abuse
drugs, engage in prostitution or other criminal behavior, and sometimes commit
suicide. They may have trust issues, and feelings of shame, guilt and
depression.
Child abuse
“is a community issue,” says Suniga. “It’s not a government agency issue to
solve.”
“It’s all
about the Golden Rule,” Sarlo-Bergmann concludes. “Be kind to children who
misbehave at your home. Treat them the way you want others to treat your
children. Let them know your rules. Setting boundaries states you love them
enough to keep them safe and they may not get that at home if they’re abused or
neglected. Compliment them. Little things you do can make a big difference in
the life of a child and that’s a great mark to leave on the world.”
*Definitions
provided by the Larimer County Department of Human Services’ Children, Youth
and Family Division
Report it here
To report abuse or neglect, or for information or help:
In
In